Loving-kindness and Meeting Aesclepius

Sorry all about the late post. Just realized I had not posted yet... It's been a rough week.

What started as just homework has quickly turned into something much bigger. These meditation practices have given me a glimpse of a life filled with total peace, wisdom, and loving-kindness. As I stated in prior blogs, I engaged in meditation prior to this class but it was nothing like the structured ones I practiced in this class and certainly nothing like the guided meditations. My meditation practice routine consisted of taking some time out, from time to time, to lose myself in the soft and soothing sounds of waves (from my CD), sailing away from the distractions of my daily obligations. I certainly did not have any specific goal other than escaping reality for a little bit. That helped me “refueled” enough to tackle my next task(s). The meditation practices in this class took me much further: they unlocked the door to peace in its purest form. Initially, I had some adjustment issues with the guided meditation: the “guiding voice” distracted me from my focus a great deal. Indeed, every time I attempted to float away in this wonderful world of inner peace, “the voice” swiftly brought me back to the harsh reality. With practice, I have “conquered the voice”. Like the adage says “practice makes perfect”. I now find myself enjoying these moments of great escape from the daily dealing of modern life.

The two practices I connected more have been Loving-kindness and Aesclepius practices. They are the easiest for me to do and also the most beneficial. After each exercise, I find myself much “lighter”. I did not realize that my life was clouded somewhat by unnecessary worries, ill feelings, and stressors. This realization came to me as quite a surprise because I always pride myself of being the type of person who “sees the glass as half full”; an optimistic, positive, loving, and always ready to lend a helping hand type of gal. These two practices took me to a place where I was able to tap into the deeper me, the inner me who is more peaceful, much wiser, and with much more loving-kindness.

Mind training is and will be in session for a long time to come, as this is a lifelong journey. I still have ways to go but, every day that goes by, I get a little more focused, gain a bit more control of my mind and the path to human flourishing is a bit more defined. Slowly but surely, I will get there.

Browny.      

Meeting Aesclepius

My meditative practice for this week has not been productive because I was not able to focus. Indeed, it is difficult to focus on stillness with uncontrollable sneezing, runny nose, and stuffiness. I will try the exercise again when I feel better. I chose my mom to personify wisdom, compassion, and loving-kindness. She is my role model and hero.
I got to admit that, so far though, these meditation practices have been very beneficial to me: I have more peace within, I am even more compassionate, and I have more loving-kindness. My mind has been more focused, sharper, and more efficient. I no longer see these exercises as just class assignments that "I have to do": I actually enjoy doing them. They are now an integral part of my life. I have grown to also like guided medication very much. Who knew... 

We can all think that we know what someone is going through but we can only rely on our “imagination”.  Unless we walk the same path, we can’t quite understand/know the full experience. As health care professionals, we cannot ask of our patient what we are not willing to do ourselves to achieve integral health. We have an obligation to live by example. As the saying goes, “don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk also”. Just as much as we encourage and coach our patients to get or stay on the path to psychological and spiritual growth, we must also make it an integral part of our own life: it must be constantly and consistently nurtured and customized to fit our special circumstances.

Browny.

Integral Assessment

The exercise was tricky for me. I had to memorize the phrases first before doing the exercise. I have to keep my eyes closed to be able to focus. So reading the phrases could not do it for me. In any case, I did not really get much out of it because I could not focus much. Between trying to remember the phrases and reciting them properly, I could not keep my focus. The phrases were too long and too many. I need more practice on this exercise. 

The assessment was quite a bit of a challenge. I had to really focus and actually meditate on it to get the answers I needed. I saw myself through different lenses and I was amazed by what I discovered. The main area of focus for growth and development for me is the psychospiritual area. This is an overall improvement with some lines of development needing more work. The one that needs most work is my “conative” level of development. It is still hindered by the need to satisfy my survival needs. It is ironic and maybe even contradictory, but I do believe that I have achieved loving-kindness despite my other shortcomings in my search for psychospiritual flourishing. Loving-kindness is embedded in me. It has been part of my life but I just did not have a name for it. It has been the foundation of my relationships and also my profession. Going back to memory lane, in my childhood, I always had dreamed of becoming a doctor, a surgeon to be precise. I wanted to help ill people. Every Christmas, I was the one to get the medical apparatus toys i.e. stethoscope, scalpels, syringes, etc. I would even get the “clogs”. J I, also, was the one who “patched” my sisters’ cuts and bruises since my mother could not stand the sight of blood. Unfortunately, I parted with my dreams when I got accepted in this country to study banking and finance. I was lost in a different educational system and a different language (I am French speaking) and culture altogether. Needless to say, I couldn't cope. I dropped out of college in my fifth semester. That major was just not for me. I met my husband shortly after. When I let him know about my dreams of being a doctor, he suggested nursing. I never thought of it before. He gave me the guidance I desperately needed to navigate the educational system and paid for my nursing education. He assisted me in realizing my dream of healing the ill. I have been doing that for the past 13+ years and I am now ready to enter the next stage: nursing leadership where I can assist healthcare professionals, just like myself, have better access to all the tools and resources they need to excel in their healing abilities.

 My cognitive and emotional levels of development need some improvement because I find myself to be a little more reactive than I would like to be. I think this goes back to satisfying my survival needs. With the state of the economy as it is today, there are many uncertainties and worries, mostly, job stability. Our lives are mostly centered on financial stability. It allows us to care for our families, have a roof over our heads, food on the table, receive care when we are sick, get an education, and the list goes on. With a distressed economy, we have seen many organizations downsizing or closing down altogether which result in a culminating unemployment rate. Financial stability or job stability has become worrisome to many including myself. The precarious job “security”, the uncertainty we face today keeps me worried. I need to work on dissolving these negative patterns (reactivity and self-protection) and further improve on peace, happiness, and loving-kindness. There is always room for improvement in life. The process of expanding and evolving is ever so ongoing. I have been consistent in doing activities that are assisting me in achieving human flourishing/integral health. I meditate more often, especially when I feel overwhelmed. I must say that I enjoy guided meditation now (as long as it is a female voice because I find it more soothing). I am back to praying more and better. I do my physical workout daily and I pay close attention to my nutrition. I will soon incorporate yoga routinely. Slowly but surely… 

In summary, I must say that the work has certainly started for me as I engage more in mental, physical, and spiritual training to achieve wholeness and oneness, body/mind/spirit connection.

Browny.

Loving-Kindness and the Subtle Mind

Loving-kindness vs. Subtle mind

To have a better grasp on these two exercises and get the experience that was sought after, I had to do them over a few times, three times to be exact, to really “loose” (not literally J) myself in the experience. I have been doing meditation, but nothing fancy like these type of exercises. My meditations have been just me, myself, and I, alone, with some soothing music or sounds in the background. No guided voices. The experience, every time, has been refreshing, invigorating, revitalizing, restorative, tonic,… I don’t want to exhaust the dictionary resources here; I think you get the picture. J The “guided” meditation is another ball game, for me. At first, I could not quite get past the “voice”. I have kind of adjusted now and I realize that I respond better with female voices. Why, you may ask? Truthfully, I am not quite sure… Maybe it has to do with what the female voice represents “for me”: softness, feelings, emotions, compassion, comfort, nurture, foundation, tranquility, stillness, peace, strength, wisdom, and, yes, loving-kindness. Notice I haven’t attached “positive” or “negative” to feelings and emotions. It’s because it does not matter, the emphasis here is to just have feelings and emotions. One can always dissolve the negative ones and let the positive ones flourish. Furthermore, the loving-kindness practice stroke a cord with me. My younger sister has been going through some rough times lately. She’s actually moving in with us today, with my three-year old niece. During the loving-kindness exercise, I was able to reach into her negative emotions. I was able to really feel her pain, her worries, her uncertainties, her doubts and her stress. Taking in so much of those bad emotions was quite a burden and a mind baffling experience. I cried. But then, as I visualized those bad emotions dissolve in my heart with each breath in, the painful crying gave way to tears of joy. The tears of joy were from knowing that, with each breath out, I gave my sister a little more positive feelings and emotions. I gave her hope, happiness, peace, and strength. Soon the tears stopped altogether to give way to peace, inner peace. The more I did the exercise, the more goodness I spread out, the greater I felt deep inside. By the end of the exercise, I felt “lighter”. All my own stress had melted away.

The subtle-mind practice was a bit more challenging. Keeping the focus on just the breathing was feasible for me but, every time I shifted my focus to stillness, multitudes of thoughts rushed into my mind. I kept on shifting back to the breathing to chase those thoughts away. Not having a visual to focus made it quite challenging for me. After a while, I became exhausted mentally. I finished the practice not trying to focus on the stillness anymore. Instead, I just focused on the breathing. In doing that, I was able to relax and just enjoy being.

Between the two exercises, I was impacted more by the loving-kindness practice: I was able to gain a fuller and deeper experience. I was more comfortable doing the loving-kindness practice because I believe that, as they stated in the exercise, “loving-kindness attracts loving-kindness; we get what we give”. That philosophy is not new to me. I have grown up hearing this from my parents, family members and friends. It’s been sort of a cultural thing, almost. As I grew older, I witnessed the veracity of this in numerous occasions. I truly like to help, without expecting anything in return. Like I said in a prior post, I find it uncomfortable and sometimes insulting for someone to tell me “I owe you one” when I do something for them. A mere “thank you”, “I appreciate your help” or a hug, a smile, is more than enough. “I owe you one” makes it a debt and therefore, defeats the purpose of just “doing” for goodness sake.

As for the subtle-mind practice, it will take many more practices for me to gain the deep and full experience I was able to gain with the loving-kindness exercise.

The interconnection of the spiritual wellness with the mental and physical wellness.

Human beings are composed of mind, body, and spirit which, together, form the integral “whole” being. It is, therefore, normal for the latter to be interconnected. This means that when one is affected, so are the other ones. When the body is affected in a negative way, the mind and the spirit are also affected the same way. This is also true vice versa. The negative effect on the body can be lessened or taken out altogether if we only care and nurture all the levels of our being, with a special focus on the spiritual which is the core of our being. When our spiritual wellness is strong, we feel better inside and out, mentally and physically. We feel in control mentally and physically, we are well. At this time, we have reached integral health.

Browny.